Good Mama Guilt

Summer in Connecticut means a lot of things - more free time, beautiful weather, days in the backyard sprinkler pool, cook outs, parks, and extremely unpredictable weather. 

Zoey (Raspberry) is 9 months now, and Liam just turned 2 at the end of May.  Every day this summer has been a wonderful, exhausting adventure, even if we're stuck inside with torrential downpours.  Today the plan was to meet friends at a park in a neighboring town for a morning play-date.  About an hour before, other mama had decided it was a no go due to all night crib parties her son was throwing (lol, I just love that expression she uses...crib parties...!) and also it was raining where she lives.  It was not yet raining here; I said we'd probably still go (getting out of the house for a bit is always good.) 

Fast forward an hour, kids are still playing in their cribs, and I am lounging, in no rush since we aren't meeting anyone (seriously, if they're happy playing in their cribs, some days a late start is fantastic!)  I get another text, she's putting her refusing-to-wind-down toddler into the car and going to head to the park.  And...it's go time!  A flurry of activity including washing my hair in the sink, packing food, changing diapers, finding clean clothes for all, and getting everyone buckled properly in the car, and we're off to Dunkin for coffee, and to the park. 

Traffic traffic traffic, then cranky toddler (hers not mine) and dark clouds, and we left the park 30 minutes after we got there. 

But...I remembered a bounce house place not far from the park!  I used to take the kids I nannied there!  (Insert angelic heavenly music here!)  GPS, several wrong turns and turning around about 5 times sure that I missed it, and we were there.  (Then tantrum because we didn't have reservations for the water slide bounce houses outside, and no anyway because he's only 2 and the big kids are crazy!)

I mentioned Liam is 2, right?  I wonder if anyone told him.  After he got the idea of the place, no bounce house was too big, including the 2 and 3 story giant slides.  When I say he climbed up and slid down 100 times, I may not be exaggerating.

He bounced and slid for nearly 2 hours, and at one point said "ow, knee".  As there was no obvious injury to his knee, and he didn't fall funny or anything, I offered to kiss it an make it better, and he was off again and fine. 

In a feeble attempt to still have afternoon nap be a thing we do in this house (Zoey was an extremely willing participant), we left at 2:30, came home, had lunch, and then...

...then the limping starts.  Same leg that his "ow, knee" was.  He's never limped.  Yes, yes I am freaking out.  We had such a fun day playing at the park, on the bounce houses, and then a cute lunch just the two of us in the living-room (Zoey was out already), and Dr. Google seems to think he may have a "toddler fracture". 

Tomorrow if he's still limping, or if it gets worse, we'll be trekking over to the doctor's.  I'm so glad Rob (hubby) is so even-keeled.  If he called me at work (yes, I did.) because one of the kids was injured, I'd be packing up the party and rushing out.

Then again...as he didn't nap, and I put him in the pack-n-play in my office while I type this and send out some client birthday cards, I hear "Mommy!  Me!" 

Perhaps he's fine after all.

xoxo,

Happy Mama

Taking a Step

I thought that there were steps to life.  Sure, sometimes we miss a few, or go in a different order, but if you follow the same general steps, you are happy and the pieces fall in to place.

No, I'm not depressed.  I am actually quite happy, overall.  I have an amazing hubby who I love more with every breath I take.  I have a beautiful son, Liam, who was born happy and healthy in May last year and is a blessing and a joy and gave me the best gift ever - being a mother.  I am pregnant with our second baby (due in September) and we're thrilled and can't wait to meet him/her.  I have a great job as an independant consultant for Pure Romance and get paid to do party it up with awesome women.  I have a great relationship with my family, and with my hubby's family.  I have a lot of friends, some even go back nearly 25 years.  I'm Christian, and if you are too you know the amount of comfort and happiness that brings.  (If you are not, you don't have to stop reading, this is not a religious blog, I just want you to know me before diving in!)

I took all the steps.  Graduated high school.  Had a ton of life experiences for several years after (this blog is not to get into those, though some may come up later.  Nothing crazy, just part of what shaped me.)  Dated.  Worked.  Dated more, worked more.  Fell in love, got engaged, started my business, got married, have a family.  We have a house, both have good working cars.

The big picture is a happy one, but there are little things that need work.  I want to set a good example for my kids, my friends and family, and even my hubby.  I don't think that doing what makes you happy is selfish - I think it's the most selfless thing you can actually do...after all -

I want to be healthier.  I was overweight (not a lot, and I don't particularly look "obese" though the little Wii Fit guy seems to delight in telling me I am) when I got pregnant with Liam, and I didn't lose all the weight before I got pregnant with Raspberry (our nickname for our new baby).  I'm not trying to lose weight while pregnant, but I'm trying to not gain a ton either, and just overall be in better shape.  With my last pregnancy, I had some hip issues and I started to see a chiropractor (shout out to Dr. Jackie Flynn, I highly recommend her if you're in the area!)  I recently found out just how bad my posture has become (yikes!)  Other things?  Silly, really, like years of drinking coffee have stained my teeth and I DESPERATELY want to wear red lipstick on occasion.  I miss enjoying reading - I used to love to read, but lately I sit down and find I have too many things I need to get done to concentrate.  I miss going to church - our church is a commitment, not because they require it, but because it's 45 minutes away and I am just not a morning person.  There are a lot of tiny fragments of weird that make up the puzzle pieces that aren't fitting quite right into my life.  Rather than "make them fit" and being perpetually uncomfortable with little pieces of me, it's time to make some changes.

Happiness is a choice, one we need to make every day.  This is me making that choice, and I encourage you to do the same!

xoxo,

One Happy Mama